Mediation and Self Involvement

Is it possible to mediate your own disputes, whether church or marriage? Yes, but it tends to be difficult as the role of mediator implies neutrality and it’s hard to be neutral when dealing with your own problems, especially if the other person is driving you crazy.

Here are some tips if you want to try it on your own:

1) Listen, listen, listen. Never interrupt

2) Pause for a moment before you respond

3) Rephrase what you heard, what the person said, in your own words

4) Have the other person do the same for you.

5) Mediate at a mutually agreeable time, when both are feeling good (well rested, fed)

If you do these things, any discussion, heated or not, will go better

With most folks, by the time you get really passionate, you need a person to help and often if you don’t things get dramatically worse in a hurry

Glen