Glen’s Church Blog

Tension Level, Divorce Mediation and Church Mediation

When people are trying to work out a particularly difficult problem in mediation, whether church mediation or divorce mediation, a couple things happen. Tempers begin to flair, of course, and often cutting and/or sarcastic remarks are exchanged. What else happens? Often the fight or flight response comes on in your brain.When that happens, people have…

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Tradition, Mediation and Church Disputes

So many church disputes are a result of folks forgetting the tried and true ways of doing things. A pastor leaves, a key member moves or passes away. In time, if  a church is not careful, it can slide into a way of doing things that doesn’t work very well. That’s the bad news. The…

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Mediation and Being Stuck

It is very common for people to come to mediation “locked-in” to their position. There are good reasons for this. Some people are like like pit bulls: they clamp down on a position without the slightest change, through thick and thin. This is a valuable trait if 1) you know you are absolutely 100 %…

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Why You Should Consider Mediators Who Are Not Attorneys.

Why You Should Consider Mediators Who Are Not Attorneys By Glen Bickford, Minnesota Qualified Neutral and Trained Mediator Most Mediators in Minnesota are attorneys. Only a small percentage of mediators are what the attorneys call “Non-Attorneys.” Mediation, many attorneys believe, should be something practiced by attorneys alone, as only attorneys know the law.  Many attorneys…

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Why You Should Go to Court When You Get Divorced

Why You Should Go to Court When You Get Divorced Glen Bickford, Minnesota Qualified Neutral and Divorce Mediator Many people are relieved to get an attorney. It means they don’t have to do as much work. After all, an attorney works out the agreement for you. She or he fights for your rights so you…

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Mediation and Hormones: Mediation and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

The mediation industry is affected by hormones. No, not the hormones you’re thinking of: the hormones we get when the seasons change. In the late winter most people get testy from lack of exercise and sunshine. They’re prone to argue and that’s why most church fights take place in late winter and I get church…

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Psychology and Mediation

Mediation is best done by someone with knowledge of psychology. The difference between negotiation and mediation can be described as a difference in psychological outlook. In negotiation, most often one is out to get the best deal one can get and many people are willing to be as zealous advocates for themselves as possible in…

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Christmas and Conflict II

Christmas and Conflict II There are awful things about conflict during the holidays, but there are many potential benefits, if you can take advantage of the season. Both parents can have fun with the kids during break, instead of one parent being the school parent and the other being the “Disney” parent. But what can…

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Christmas and Conflict

Christmas is a season of joy and fun for families and churches. Most people try desperately to get along when they have a conflict around Christmas, but it often bubbles up in unfortunate ways. Christmas time is a time of family values, and “we always do it this way.” When couples are separated or divorced,…

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