Blog | Mediation Blog Minnesota | Bickford Mediation

Divorce Season

Mediation with families has its own season. Since few families want to move in the dead of winter, most parents put up with conflict until the weather gets nicer. Then they move out and file for divorce. Summer, then, is a time when families try to figure out schedules for school age children and continues…

Holy Week, Easter and church fights

Strangely enough, Holy Week is not a week for church fights in most places. Simply put, the people in church who love being traditional are too busy preparing and helping with Easter breakfasts, commuinion, music, footwashing etc.. Working together to make sure the traditions get done well (in the traditional style) generally takes precedence over…

The Value of the “Pause”

In most US denominations, there is a problem dealing with the issue of homosexuality especially with respect to marriage and ordination. It is commonly thought that if the national denomination reaches a conclusion that problems are over. Far from it. In the UCC, for example, they have been ordaining openly practicing homosexuals for many years.…

The Psychology of Divorce

Most people getting divorced are pretty stressed out. Usually one person wants a divorce before the other. It is generally better for the person who decides to end the marriage because they have been likely thinking about it for months and have come to a point of decision and may even be past the point…

Church Mediation and Late Winter Blahs

I have found in churches, as in pastors, a tendency toward depression the last month or so of winter. One church I pastored had a blow-up every year at the end of January that would intensify until the weather started getting warmer. Once the weather changed to springlike conditions the controversy would fade away almost…

Cultures in Mediation

Americans often get blamed for being culturally insensitive. This seems a bit odd to me because America has more different ethnic groups than almost any other country in the world. But it can be true as well. Here’s why: culture can be more than just ethnic groups. There are cultures of states, regions, towns and…

Connecting With Your Congregation

A pastor I once knew had a hard time with visitation. What do I talk about? What’s important? Good questions In my book, he most important part of pastoral relationship is connection. How do I connect with members I don’t know, especially older members? You start by listening. You listen to what they talk about,…

Catharsis in Mediation

The other day I was mediating and one of the parties was stuck in a position, so stuck and so angry that after a bit she started to cry. Now, some mediators might pull that person aside and let her know that the mediation might end if she could not get herself under control. Other…

One Divorce Lawyer or Divorce Attorney in Mediation

Having a single attorney representing one party in mediation with the other party unrepresented by an attorney (called a “Pro Se” party) can be problematic because of the so-called power imbalance. This imbalance is brought about by the attorney’s knowledge of the law or greater ability to advocate or articulate the represented party’s position and…

How Churches Decline

Clayton Christensen argues in The Innovator’s DNA that businesses decline because in the early stages of a business there are many innovators but as the business gets established the innovators are replaced by managers and the innovators essentially go away. As innovators leave, so does creativity. Without creativity and innovation businesses cannot respond to changing times…