Differentiation is the Key

Differentiation is the key to successful happy relationships. To be differentiated is to be different than someone else, be okay with that difference, and yet connected.

The opposite of differentiation is fusion. When two people are fused, they do not allow each other to be different, fear it and dislike any differences. When one is down emotionially, the other is down automatically.  Often times fusion can make life together difficult, as fused people often fight a lot. They fight over differences, with each wanting to decide for the other.

If people are differentiated,  on the other hand, it’s possible to enjoy differences and take joy in the differences. Mediation, if done properly, allows each party to be differentiated and have a say in the outcome making a win/win scenario.


  1. glen on December 4, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    Differentiation can be found in the book Generation to Generation

    • glen on October 28, 2014 at 10:27 pm

      Yes, a great book. try Peter Steinke’s works also

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