Is arguing necessary? No, not always, but we are human. Everybody argues. Everybody gets tired and hungry and “hangry” (the kind of irritable people often get when they’re hungry). Before you start arguing and get drawn into nastiness almost unintentionally, stop. Wait. Agree to take it up a different time. Respect your partner, even if you want that partner to be an EX-partner! The more civil you can keep it, the better you can agree. If you get into “fight-or-flight” mode, nothing will ever get accomplished. If it gets that far, take a day or two and go at it again. Make a date when you’re both in a better mood.
If that doesn’t work, perhaps you need a counselor. Counselors can often get at deep-seated problems in your relationship.I’m not a counselor but I am a mediator. I work in the here and now. I can help you fight fair, work out ground rules and likely come to an agreement. You don’t want to dig yourself deeper into a hole as a couple. Then it will be tough to co-parent and get on with your life. It doesn’t matter what your issues are, I can help. Maybe you should make a date with a professional like me to help you. You’ll be glad you did!!