Divorce Mediation SAQs
Here are Divorce Mediation SAQs (questions Glen wishes people would ask about mediation)
Seldom Asked Questions
The Top 10 Should Ask Questions (SAQs) people should ask about mediation—if only they knew more.
SAQ 1: You’re a pastor. How does that help you as a mediator?
A 1: I have learned as a pastor how to care for both people in a dispute and not take sides as lawyers are supposed to. I have special training in dealing with people in stressful and emotional matters.
SAQ 2: What happens in mediation if we can’t agree?
A 2: It seldom happens but then I declare what is called an impasse. If that happens, you can still go to court. Usually there’s at least some agreement and with partial agreement court is cheaper.
SAQ 3: You’re a pastor. Are you going to try and convert me while we mediate?
A 3: No, I never talk about religion when we mediate unless it’s a point of disagreement concerning the kids. If you want to bring religion up after, that’s fine.
SAQ 4: What makes you such a good mediator?
A 4: I listen very carefully. And I used to be an Emergency Room chaplain. So I’m used to stressful situations and know how to handle them.
SAQ 5: Where did you do your training?
A 5: CDR Associates, Boulder, Colorado, an organization that often handles international disputes, Hamline University Center for Dispute Resolution, Saint Paul, Minnesota and The Mennonite Peace Institute, Lombard, Illinois.
SAQ 6: I’ve heard that mediation sessions often drag on for hours and hours. Is that the way you operate?
A6: Not usually. I generally mediate in sessions lasting two hours or less. Longer than that most times is not often productive as people get tired and sometimes feel pushed into an agreement.
SAQ 7: Where do you mediate? Do you mediate in an office?
A 7: No, It’s less expensive for everyone if I don’t have an office. We can mediate at a courthouse room, a private room in your attorney’s office or in a local church.
SAQ 8: How long have you been doing mediation?
A 8: I have been mediating with church couples, churches and with families in hospitals for 20 years. I started mediating with couples who were divorcing about 6 years ago.
SAQ 9: Which is harder to solve: a fight between two people divorcing or a church fight?
A 9: A church fight is usually much worse. Sadly, I find divorce mediation easier!
SAQ 10: What happens if someone breaks the mediated agreement?
A 10: A signed mediated agreement is a contract just like any other contract. If someone breaks the agreement, that person can be taken to court.