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Power and Peril by David Brubaker
Promise and Peril: Understanding and Managing Change and Conflict in Congregations by David R. Brubaker A Review by Glen Bickford David Brubaker is clearly a master of statistical analysis. There is much to be gained by reading this book from Alban Institute. A few of his insights are qualitative such as building layouts can help explain…
Read MoreMediation and Power
Many issues that a mediator deals with are not the real issues. Often times the stated issues are really a battleground for deeper issues, most often issues of power and control. Does it truly matter which person gets a $10 item in a personal property dispute? And yet at times divorcing couples spend more time…
Read MoreReview: Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times by Peter Steinke
Congregation Leadership in Anxious Times by Peter Steinke: A Review by Glen Bickford Peter Steinke continues his church consultation legacy with this book focused on church leadership: how to be a non-anxious presence. His first chapter, Anxious Souls, describes the effects of anxiety: contagiousness, reactivity, black and white thinking. He also quotes Dean R. Hoge and Jacqueline…
Read MoreMediation Brings New Ideas
One of the most valuable things that a mediator brings to a conflict is a different perspective. A mediator can offer new ideas without seeming to be on one side or another. For example, there are at least five different ways to divide personal personal property in a divorce mediation. A mediator can offer a solution…
Read MoreMediators are not always lawyers.
Many mediators are lawyers but I am not a lawyer, so when people ask me a legal question the best thing I can do is refer them to a lawyer. This makes divorce mediation slow at times. But it it better to know one’s boundaries than give poor legal advice. At times in divorce mediation,…
Read MoreReview: The American Church in Crisis by David Olson
David Olson is a pastor, church planter and church planter coach for the Evangelical Covenant Church. A long-time resident of Minnesota, he recently moved to Chicago to take a position with the national office of the Evangelical Covenant Church. His book The American Church in Crisis is a statistician’s attempt to make sense of the overall decline…
Read MoreReview: Peter Steinke’s A Door Set Open and New Visions Training Program
This is a new Blog devoted to Church Consultation. I recently attended an Interim Ministry Conference in Nashville. We spoke about mediation, consultation and how to change the mindset of many congregations today. Below is my review of a post conference seminar program. Review: Peter Steinke’s A Door Set Open and New Visions Training Program Peter Steinke has been a…
Read MoreRacheting down tension
Sometimes in mediation two parties are more bent on hurting and destroying each other than working things out. They may even prolong a mediation to hurt each other. Sometimes, the best thing a mediator can do is to simply end the session and give parties space and time to calm down. Sometimes this can be…
Read MoreDealing with Anger
When confronted by an angry person, try not to make his/her problem yours. Listen. Name, repeat and/or summarize for him/her the feelings and thoughts you hear, especially words like “uncomfortable”. Try not to get defensive. Use open body posture even though you may not feel like it. Observe him/her from a bit of emotional distance and…
Read MoreDifferentiation is the Key
Differentiation is the key to successful happy relationships. To be differentiated is to be different than someone else, be okay with that difference, and yet connected. The opposite of differentiation is fusion. When two people are fused, they do not allow each other to be different, fear it and dislike any differences. When one is…
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