Mediation and Cost

When people call me for Minnesota divorce mediation or Minnesota family mediation, the first they often say is “how much does it cost?” A question I ask people seeking family mediation or divorce mediation in return is this: “How well do you get along?” If two people can’t get along well at all, ANY way they try to work things out is not going to be easy, at least at first.

I wish I could offer a flat fee of say, $300, to mediate a divorce. But how much a mediation costs varies widely from couple to couple, and depends on many factors: how tired the people are, how hungry they are, what else is going on in their lives. Cost depends on how stubborn or cooperative either of them are. Some mediation goes quickly until folks reach an issue that neither will budge on. Others take a couple hours to reach the first agreement but agreements flow quickly after that. Sometimes circumstances change from horrible to great and vice versa.

What I can tell you is, the more patient people are, the less it will cost. The more people listen and think and the more creative people are the less it will cost. The more they focus on their kids or their families, the less it will cost. The more locked into thinking that they are always right, the more it will cost. If it’s a matter of pride not to give an inch, the more an agreement will cost, if they can get an agreement at all. Bad relationships don’t happen all at once, Neither do agreements and making things better.

If you haven’t been working together well, give mediation a chance. Learning or relearning to cooperate takes time. But cooperation can bring benefits for as long as you live. Even if you never see your ex again, and you never had kids together, a good divorce agreement can make the rest of your life easier. It may be the best financial decision you’ll ever make.

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