Dealing with Anger

When confronted by an angry person, try not to make his/her problem yours. Listen. Name, repeat and/or summarize for him/her the feelings and thoughts you hear, especially words like “uncomfortable”. Try not to get defensive. Use open body posture even though you may not feel like it. Observe him/her from a bit of emotional distance and ask your self what he/she is really trying to say. If you do these things most often the person will calm down. End the monologue/tirade after a bit if necessary by asking for time to think about it. As a last resort ask quietly, “What answer would satisfy you?” This will force the person to defend themselves. Either they can answer and you’ll know or if they can’t you can ask them to talk again when they do know.